I find it interesting that the difference between the words “marital” and “martial” is merely the placement of an “I”.  Isn’t it the case that how we insert ourselves in our relationships can become the difference between working together (marital meaning relating to) or generating conflict (martial meaning relating against).  This is a profound distinction solely determined by the positioning of “I”.

Are you aware of how you enter into a discussion with your partner?  Do you impose your “I” into the conversation without true regard for other?  Do you insist on being attended to? heard?  Do you show up already wanting a particular outcome, attached to having it go your way?  Is your underlying tenet one of respect for the collaboration or do you come ready for a battle?

Marital vs. Martial – is up to “I”.