The work of being in relationship is the work towards being in the present moment. That goes for relationship with ourselves and with others. So often we get caught up in feeling anxious about the future, what might happen, or  conditioned by something from the past. Staying in the present moment is challenging.

This is in sharp contrast to reactions that we bring from the past that then contaminate the now. When we haven’t done the work to clean up past hurts, unresolved arguments, old traumas and wounds from our original families, negative associations with intimacy… then these pains and rages inevitably show up and get triggered by current circumstances. All of this removes us from the present. Instead we find ourselves reacting to the past or attempting to avoid or alter an imagined future.

The renowned Buddhist master, Thich Nhat Hanh, states:  “Our true home is in the present moment. To live in the present moment is a miracle.”

Working on the very stuff that relationships evoke and brining awareness to where it is rooted can help clear away old detritus and allow us to genuinely be in the now. This is where true compassion resides.

Therefore treat your relationship as nothing less than a spiritual practice.